Suicide Prevention: A Compassionate Perspective from a Psychiatrist
This month, as we observe Suicide Prevention Awareness and today on World Suicide Prevention Day, I find myself reflecting deeply on the experiences of those who have come to me feeling trapped, hopeless, and utterly helpless. It’s part of my day-to-day experience to have these conversations with people so for me, the uncomfortable has become comfortable. I can have honest conversations about suicidal thoughts and actions. If we are going to really create change when it comes to mental health challenges and suicide in particular, we all have to grow a little more comfortable with having these conversations. Every 40 seconds, one person in the world commits suicide. Suicide is the SECOND leading cause of death in individuals aged 10 to 34 in the United States. It is an unfortunate part of our reality, and we cannot keep pretending like it is not. As a psychiatrist who often works therapeutically with trauma, I’ve seen firsthand how people can feel as if there is no escape from their pain. For many, their minds and bodies are not places of safety, but cages of distress. They may feel paralyzed, unable to move forward or find relief, and when you take their perspective, it’s understandable why some may believe that death is the only way out. But it isn’t. I’ve walked alongside many who, in the depth of their suffering, fantasized about escape through death. And while that fantasy might seem like the only option in the moment, I’m here to tell you that there is hope. I’ve seen people heal. I’ve witnessed transformation.
Even in the face of chronic trauma, the suffocating feeling of despair does not have to be permanent. One of the most difficult parts of my job is knowing that healing is possible but requires time- and getting the people I work with to believe that so that they can stay in the process. I often want so desperately to alleviate the pain immediately, but healing—especially from trauma—doesn’t follow a straight path. It’s not always quick, and patience becomes the hardest but most important virtue. Together, my patients and I work on patience—both theirs and mine—as they slowly begin to feel their way out of the paralysis that has gripped their bodies and minds. It’s vital to understand that people who reach the point of suicidal thinking are not weak, and no one is immune from such thoughts. These feelings come from a place of deep suffering, often from years of trauma, pain, or overwhelming circumstances. Society tends to misunderstand how someone can reach this point, assuming that only those who “lack strength” feel this way. That’s simply not true. Suicide does not discriminate, and the pathway to those thoughts can be paved with layers of misunderstood, unseen pain. Often it is only fear that keeps people from acknowledging their own potential to have suicidal thoughts.
Fear of judgment, religious based fear of persecution, or fear of the pain it would inflict on their loved ones. For loved ones, it can be incredibly frightening to watch someone you care about struggle with suicidal thoughts. Many people react out of their own fear of loss, becoming so focused on trying to “fix” or “rescue” their loved one that they forget to do something even more crucial—listen and validate. Being able to sit with someone in their pain, acknowledge the reality of their feelings without rushing in with reassurances or solutions, is one of the most profound ways you can help. It may seem counterintuitive, but often the best way to support someone who feels that death is their only option is to validate that feeling, to help them feel heard and understood. The connection you can make with validation and helping your loved one feel understood might just provide the hope they need to go on. Unfortunately, this is why it is so difficult for many to share that they have suicidal thoughts- because they are afraid of judgement. So they stay isolated and alone. When a person struggling with these thoughts feels misunderstood or unheard by those they love, it deepens the isolation, reinforcing the very feelings that lead them to believe death is the only solution. That’s why the role of compassionate understanding cannot be understated. Your willingness to hold space for their suffering without judgment can be the light that guides them toward hope, even if they can’t yet see it themselves.
In my practice, I work with patients to help them connect with their bodies through many methods. These tools can help people release stored trauma and move through the physical manifestations of their distress. When someone feels trapped in their body, like they can’t escape, it’s often because the trauma is still living there, unprocessed. Gently working with these sensations helps free them from that paralyzed state, offering a way forward when it once felt impossible. It’s not easy, but it is simpler than we think. If you’re struggling, know that you don’t have to navigate this alone. Healing takes time, but it’s possible. There are people—therapists, friends, and loved ones—who are ready to support you. I understand why you’re afraid of judgment. Unfortunately, the stigma still exists when it comes to mental health challenges. I hope that you are not met with that feeling when you ask for help. If you are, don’t give up- it’s not because of you, it’s their fear and misunderstanding. You are not alone, despite feeling this way. And if you’re someone who loves a person who is suffering, take a moment to pause, to listen, and to understand. Sometimes, that’s where the healing begins.
